And don't forget that 13.c applies even if the preacher got his preaching degree (i.e., certificate) from what amounts to a correspondence course.

Look for a spike in hits.

Al Maxey has linked to the franchise agreement in his latest issue of "Reflections".

Sincerely,
Robert Baty

**Dang it, Jay, now I'm Pentecostal!

1. In the “contribution” paragraph – We are Biblically required to announce that the contribution is “separate and apart” from communion – no matter that giving partially defines a Christian and is an act of worship.

2. In the ceremony of partaking of the “bread and the cup”:
A. This may only be called “communion” – Not “Holy Communion”, “Blessed Sacrament”, or another name that might be possibly used by another denomination – and, particularly, the Papists.
B. Wine must never be used in the “cup” because the consumption of alcohol is definitively evil. Any reference to the fact that Jesus clearly drank wine and blessed it for Christians to use “in memory of me”, must be explained away by elaborate chemical explanations that Jesus was not really using wine as we know it, but grape juice from grapes crushed into juice immediately before consumption thus precluding fermentation. (The more elaborate the chemical or plant biology explanation, the more valid and edifying this explanation will be.)

3. Service times – The only Biblically acceptable worship hours are on Sunday between 8:00 AM and12:00 PM – or, in the case of explicable exigency, 6:00 PM – never before or after. A 6:00 PM service is, of course, not a worship service, but a devotional. As such, communion must be served “separate and apart” from the evening service because it is inappropriate to bore other members who must sit quietly by, delaying dinner and missing favorite TV programs, by while communion is served to those who probably just overslept for the full morning worship service.

4. If the “Freed-Hardeman Chorus” or any other para-religious organization wishes to “perform” for the congregation, an Elder must – explicitly – announce the end of the real worship service and clearly state that what follows is not to be considered part of the worship service. (It is acceptable to borrow from the contribution preparation language: “Separate and apart from …”)

5. Baptism must be caveated with “in order to obtain remission of sins” – affirming that this is America where every man is his own master and it is, therefore, the individual’s action that results in salvation, NOT the Grace of God……

I’ll stop lest my computer short-circuit and electrocute me as I type…………

Now to my comment. You forgot an important one.

26. Highway Signage: Thou shalt post a sign at each of the major highway entrances to your town. It will state that the church was established in AD 33 (obviously much earlier than the town itself was established). It will have the churches address and all 3 service times for the benefit of traveling Franchised members so that they can take a break from whatever journey that they are undertaking and stop and plop down in your building. After all, for Franchisees, just because they are hundreds of miles away from their home congregation traveling for business purposes or even vacation, missing services on the appointed day and hour is not permitted. Very few of the denominations will have such signs because they are all going to hell anyway and their missing of their services wont make much difference to them.

Jay,

A friend sent me the link to this article and I want you to know that I appreciate it very, very much! I can't believe someone took the time to do this. Thank you!