So I’ve gotten behind in my email and all, and people are complaining … but I have a doctor’s excuse. I just spent the last two days preparing for and enduring a colonoscopy.
For younger readers who are not familar with this technical term, it’s what happens when you turn 50 (or 55 in my case) just because you’re getting old. It’s not enough that your hair is falling out and your joints ache and not a single body part works as well as it used to — oh, no! — to make sure you live long enough to lose even more hair, have even achier joints, and parts that work hardly at all, you have to have a 17,000-foot tube stuck up your hinterlands and pictures taken of the inside of your large intestine — and get this! — given to your wife! (Can Facebook postings be far behind?)
It is, needless to say, the most demeaning, humiliating, and just plain nastiest procedure known to man — and that’s just the getting-ready part — and is surely some kind of revenge doctors have against the rest of world — especially lawyers. I tried to explain that I’m not the suing-doctors kind of lawyer, and that I actually represent lots of doctors and like them very much — but this did me no good at all.
So I was planning to write something detailing the experience, but found that Dave Barry had already written a very graphic explanation of the whole thing. Read his account. It’s accurate in the extreme.
PS — I am just fine.