MDR: On covenant marriage laws

Given the incredibly high rate of divorce in today’s society, it’s hardly surprising that many Christians seek to deal with the problem legislatively. After all, divorce can be devastating to children and places a huge burden on society. The courts are overwhelmed with “domestic relations” cases.

Louisiana, Arizona, and Arkansas have responded to this very real crisis with new covenant marriage laws under which a couple may opt for a marriage in which divorce is more difficult to obtain. The Louisiana statute requires a couple to undergo pre-marital counseling before tying the knot and then significantly limits their ability to divorce. Divorce must be due to fault: adultery, conviction of a felony, abandonment for a year, physical or sexual abuse, living separately for two years, or living separately for one year after a court-declared legal separation (18 months if there are children).

Interestingly, couples who are already married may “upgrade” their marriage to a covenant marriage by a simple process. Most states allow a couple to marry or “upgrade” under their state law without being residents, so that anyone may travel to any of these states and obtain, or upgrade to, a covenant marriage. On the other hand, divorce is generally governed by the law of residence, so that a couple who moves from a covenant-marriage state may well find themselves subject to no-fault divorce laws.

It’s also less than clear what happens when a covenant-marriage couple moves from one covenant-marriage state to another. Does Louisiana treat an Arkansas covenant marriage as a Louisiana covenant marriage? Or do the courts enforce Arkansas law? Or does the couple find themselves subject to the “default” no-fault divorce rules?

Surprisingly enough, the Alabama legislature has made no serious effort to re-write Alabama’s no-fault divorce laws. Indeed, although laws have been introduced in many states, none has adopted a covenant-marriage law since 2003.

My own view is that such laws are of questionable value and should be very, very thoughtfully written — if at all. After all, there’s considerable reason to be very worried about these laws.

A legal separation forces a family to maintain two households, to pay two rents and two utilities. This is hard for even those in the middle class. It can be devastating for the poor.

If a woman is forced to live apart from a violent man but denied remarriage for from one to two years, the state may have imposed severe poverty on her — and tempted her to live with a man without the benefit of marriage. The fact is that laws written by the middle class and wealthy often fail to anticipate the needs of those of different economic or ethnic circumstances.

Now, the obvious objection is that covenant marriage is voluntary. But in a state with a covenant marriage option, many a preacher will insist his congregants sign up for a covenant marriage, believing this to be God’s will — or at least closer to his will than a standard marriage that allows a no-fault divorce. Moreover, young couples rarely understand the cost of a long legal separation as a condition to a divorce.

However, my major concern with covenant marriage is simply this: Christians already have covenant marriages. They are already bound by God’s law and, for a Christian, that should be quite enough to honor God’s will. In other words, Christians are called to seek and save the lost and to do works of love and compassion for those in need. We aren’t called to gain worldly power and compel the lost (or other Christians) to obey God’s will contrary to their own wishes. Rather, we are bring people to Jesus to be converted and regenerated, so they will willingly obey the will of God.

Christians are already subject to God’s will regarding marriage. If we obey God out of fear of the state rather than fear of God, God is not honored.

Moreover, Christians are not called to compel non-Christians to obey God’s will-except through conversion. And we have no business telling non-Christians how to live (1 Corinthians 5:12-13 is quite plain). In fact, it would be horribly unfair for Christians to demand that the lost, who don’t have the advantage of Biblical instruction or the strengthening of the Holy Spirit or the support of the community of believers, to make the same good marriages we expect of Christians. To use the legislature to impose standards of behavior on the lost that even Christians struggle to meet is far outside of our calling and purpose on earth.

The solution to divorce won’t be found in the state capitol. It will be found in the church being the church God called it to be and in Christians living as Christians are called to live. There are no shortcuts.