When Wright examined the statistics on evangelicals, he found worship attendance has a big influence on the numbers. Six in 10 evangelicals who never attend had been divorced or separated, compared to just 38% of weekly attendees. …
Glenn Stanton of Focus on the Family wrote a recent column in Baptist Press highlighting Wright’s interpretation of the state of divorce for Christians.
“The divorce rates of Christian believers are not identical to the general population — not even close,” he wrote. “Being a committed, faithful believer makes a measurable difference in marriage.” …
Wilcox’s analysis of the National Survey of Families and Households has found that Americans who attend religious services several times a month were about 35% less likely to divorce than those with no religious affiliation.
Nominal conservative Protestants, on the other hand, were 20% more likely to divorce than the religiously unaffiliated.
“There’s something about being a nominal ‘Christian’ that is linked to a lot of negative outcomes when it comes to family life,” Wilcox said.
The hard data, based on a very large sample, indicates that the divorce rate among regular church attenders is much lower than among those who claim church affiliation but rarely attend.
Two questions:
1. Why does regular church attendance reduce the rate of divorce?
2. Why does claiming Christian affiliation but with no commitment to attendance actually increase divorce rates compared to non-Christians?
1. Why does regular church attendance reduce the rate of divorce? Perhaps because those who attend regularly are more likely to be in the process of being transformed by the HS (sanctified) than those that don't attend regularly and are therefore have fewer problems, would be more likely to work out problems in their marriages and forgive more easily?
No idea about #2…
God likely had a rationale when he advises believers to congregate and fellowship. It provides encouragement and support for our faithfulness to him.
God created psychology, too.
I think this explains both statements
Most marriages fail because of a lack of commitment on the part of one or both members. Nominal Christians are those that claim the title but have no commitment to the work or nature of Jesus. It makes sense to me that they would be a bit more likely to divorce than folks who have made a commitment to the world and its schemes. (What did Jesus say about the "lukewarm?")
As for the attending Christian there is a broad range of issues that make divorce less liklely – relationships you don't want to lose, folks more likely to intervene in crises, folks who will give encouragement in trying times, commitment being celebrated on a regular basis, opportunities to do things together that create more oneness, and of course on our better days being brought before the cross and reminded that our petty irritations are pretty small indeed.
As for my own marriage – I have always seen it as a direct ministry to Christ that I love my wife. She has always had the same view. We have held onto this even when things were less than pleasant and that is why we are still One today.
1. Those that can make a commitment do so and attend regularly and that commitment doing carries over to the "for better or worse commitment".
2. Just the opposite. If you can only make a half a–commitment to the church, that is the only type of commitment you can make to your spouse. Those that don't attend at all have made a commitment to not be a part of church and have at least honored their commitment and so will honor their marriage
commitment better.
Coincidence doesn't prove causation. I suspect both observed facts are caused by a third factor — the individual's commitment to the lordship of Jesus.
These data are correlative, and I think some reverse-causation may be able to explain #1 and #2 simultaneously to some extent. That is, it may be that divorce leads to lack of church attendance among evangelicals, rather than the other way around.
It may be that evangelicals who get a divorce find themselves embarrassed or shunned by their church community to the point that they no longer want to be a part of that church (or any church). We know plenty of stories in which regular church-goers get a divorce, and shortly after, their faith waivers and they stop going to church (and maybe even leave Jesus).
Consequently, evangelicals who are divorced may be more likely to stop going to church. That leaves us with a disproportionately large percentage of conservative protestants who are divorced and are not attending any church.
It could also be related to work issues. Those who find themselves having to work Sundays. Many retail and emergency types works like police and EMT's contractors traveling sales positions don't have a lot of choice. Couples with these types of jobs have added stress in trying to have a normal worship life.
AO…interesting observation.. My wife and I had a small group at our home for adult divorced people for almost 4 years.. Probably 12-15 different churches represented at one time…Pretty consistent remarks about the lack of support and yet plenty of shame at all the various churches… It was if the hospital didn't really want sick people…
3.8 out of 10 is a terrible number.
Let me ask a question: Are Christians serious about following Christ or are they just deluded by an oversimplified grace-message that leaves no room for on's own cross tp bear?
God hates divorce. Period. And these 38% of church attendes – who have heard this more than once I suppose – will have to face the One who said this. this will be very unpleasant indeed. Butthere's mire to the the story: The leaders (Shepherds, elders) will be held responsiilble for their souls also (Heb 13:17).
Alexander
God does hate divorce. He also hates a murderer and many other sins listed and clearly preached. Hell is hell and I don't know if there are degrees, all the same punishment. Eternity.
He also forgives and considering that, why is divorce not forgiven but murder and the others are? Its taught you must go back to the one in divorce. How do you do that with someone you murdered? In both cases, you can't. and that's why repenting and forgiveness is all you can have hope in.
To get away from a husband like has had told to me it would be scriptural to tell the wife to kill him and get forgiveness from the church and God and go to heaven rather than divorce him and be lost forever.
Somethings wrong with that picture!!
In a church where 38% of the regular attendees are divorved, there is something seriously wrong. Or would you accept it if 38% of our congregations were murderes (you made this comparison)? Would you also just say: well there is nothing but repentance and grace?
I can't imagine any Christian making a "dry" survey, counting the numbers in a mathemical order with a scientific frown to it if we were having to deal with 3.8 morderers among ten. I mean, read this post again (Jay' post, I mean)! So cool, so unimpressed, so neutral, so … compleatly without holy fear and anger!!!!!!
Tell me how you would feel about 38% murderers among us, and THIS is how we should feel about 38% divorces in our midst.
Don't get me wrong: The is hope for those who reüpent with an honest heart. But is there hope for a church that allows such a divorce rate?
Alexander
Been in Church with far more than 38% murderers.
Talk about fertile ground and a harvest ready for the truth.
My experience is: Those meeting to worship God (churches) that have a higher rate of divorced are those that are teaching or preaching, if you like, to folks that had no religious instruction and got themselves in this position of divorce and remarriage before learning Gods teaching on it.
I've heard elders ask at their churches membership acceptance, or not, interview, if either of the couple before them had ever been divorced? When told yes, they are told in order to attend here, you must go back to your first husband or wife to be scripturally correct as now you are eternally lost. No matter what you do in the present or future.
Talk about returning to the vomit.
I would like all that read this to pull up the song Thanks to Calvary sung by Doug Oldham
That is where we go wrong IMHO and run them off rather than give hope and let God be the judge, not us.
Call it grace or whatever you want. Many sins beyond our imagination were forgiven by our Lord and written down for our encouragement and He will forgive a changed person today just as well.
Alabama John, you are spot on. My church has a fair number of people who have been divorced. Not 38% but certainly more than any other church I have been in. That's because we are one of the few who welcome divorced people, and try to implement Christ's teaching "Go and sin no more". We run a Divorce Care program, which is also an outreach and have brought people to Christ through the program. We also have an emphasis on strengthening marriages and families. I have been with my church for over 3 years now and in that time have not heard of any divorces occurring.
Wendy,
Wonderful to hear of your work and success. How fortunate these divorced people are to have you and your church. Love one another as I have loved you comes to mind.
Some of the most repentdent folks I have ever met are those that have disobeyed God the most. The greater the sin, the greater the grace. God can handle it. Remember David.
I always remember the old exclamation "there but for the grace of God go I"
Many of us have done far worse than divorcing and have been forgiven.
Many will be surprised at who they see in Heaven.
This is a fine ministry you do, and very necessary.
But this does not explain the horrible statistics presented above. Is it enough to say: Well, in our church we have found a better way do deal with this?
The overall testimony of Christ's Church is a mess! And while some churches are doing better than others, there is a root problem, that seems to be left untouched … if a mistake happens in our printing production, that#s normal. If the same mistake happens over and over again, we have to find out the reason for it. Because then it lies within the system of how we do a job.
There is an underlying error in the churches that leads to this tremendously high divorce rate. And this might be summed up with: We don't crucify our flesh – which means we teach a wishy-washy gospel. Where there is no "hellfire and brimstone" there is little motivation to lead holy lives – of course it would be preferable to be motivated by love alone. But in reality the fewest among us get on fine only motivated by Christ's love. We need the threat of punishment also – and no "easy grace".
Alexander
I think where we are misunderstand each other is you are talking percentages of divorce happening while a member of The Church.
I am speaking by far more of those divorced before coming to a knowledge of the truth, accepting Christ and becoming members. That's where we get the much higher percentage numbers.
In many of the churches of Christ those divorced would not be allowed to be members. When there is a church of Christ that will accept them as members it draws them to it so its percentages will of course be higher.
To be among the murderers, divorced, and those that have led pretty sorry lives the percentages of bad actions are always higher than those of the faithful church of Christ members.
I have probably seen too many CHristians divorce their spouses – so I did in fact understand the precentage in the statistics this way. if I am mistaken, I'd be more than glad.
Alexander