Tulsa Lectures: First and Third Class, Leading

Leading in this case means —

* Refusing to capitulate to worldly, selfish, entitled demands, even if couched in doctrinal language.

* And yet saying “no” gently and lovingly.

(1Ti 5:1-2 ESV) Do not rebuke an older man but encourage him as you would a father, younger men as brothers,  2 older women as mothers, younger women as sisters, in all purity.

* Allow the older members a dignified way out. Don’t push them into a corner. Anticipate their concerns. Hear them out. Ask them to lay aside their personal preferences for the greater good.

* Get beneath the demands to the motivations. When pushed to actually express their desires, the two sides will likely say the same things: a desire to obey God, a desire to grow his church, etc.

When the motives are compared (and likely found to be the same!), the discussion can move to the pragmatic question of what is actually likely to work — and how the church has decided that such decisions should be made.

You see, by getting beyond positions, you end the posturing and move to agreed premises — the importance of obedience and saving the lost, for example. Both sides will have imagined that the other has no concern for such things. Getting them to agree changes their false perceptions and moves the discussion toward reconciliation.

Yes, the perceptions were colored by selfishness — the need to justify a pre-determined position. But most Christians will rise above those things when given the chance to talk through it directly with those who disagree with them.

You have to realize that people are complicated and do not act directly and simply out of one motivation. They have multiple, conflicting motivations which they balance unconsciously — often for very emotional reasons.

To escape that thought loop, we should put the motivations plainly on the table: Why do you want or oppose X? Both sides will put their most noble motivations on the table — and they’ll be speaking the truth, just not the entire truth. But truth nonetheless.

And when they truthfully agree on more effective evangelism and on loyalty to the scriptures, then they’ll be in a position to talk about how those things should be accomplished in this church at this time — and perhaps even the right way to resolve differing opinions.

(2Ti 2:24-26 ESV) 24 And the Lord’s servant must not be quarrelsome but kind to everyone, able to teach, patiently enduring evil,  25 correcting his opponents with gentleness. God may perhaps grant them repentance leading to a knowledge of the truth,  26 and they may come to their senses and escape from the snare of the devil, after being captured by him to do his will.

We sometimes imagine ourselves to have the authority of Jesus Christ — or at least an apostle — and so to be privileged to harshly condemn those we disagree with. But Paul prohibited Timothy from being harsh — commanding that he disagree gently and patiently.

Nonetheless, elders are charged to rebuke error —

(Tit 1:9 ESV) 9 [An elder] must hold firm to the trustworthy word as taught, so that he may be able to give instruction in sound doctrine and also to rebuke those who contradict it.

At Tulsa, I urged the elders there to occasionally do the preaching. We’re between preachers at my church, and the elders are helping to fill in. We aren’t very good — and the congregation is accustomed to excellent preaching.

And yet it’s going well. The congregation loves to hear from their elders. They want to know their elders’ hearts. They want to see the passion for God’s church and the members in your eyes. And they’ll gladly hear an elder out when he shares his heart with the church.

In fact, I think one of the largest mistakes we elders make is to give up the pulpit entirely to the ministers. Professional ministers are needed and I greatly appreciate their gifts, but they do not replace the elders. The church needs to hear directly from their shepherds.

And this makes for a great opportunity to teach Jesus for real, to rebuke anti-Jesus attitudes, and to lead the sheep to the green pastures and still waters found only in Christ.

A couple of other thoughts —

Rotate teachers. Don’t let dear brother X always teach the same class. Pretty soon, that class will have a different doctrine than the class taught by dear brother Y. Make them rotate. It’s not an option.

If you study church splits, I guarantee that most divide along Sunday school class lines because different teachers have taught different theologies creating two or three different congregations all under one roof.

Insist on multi-generational ministry. I’ve covered this an earlier post, but the theme fits hand-in-glove with this series. You see, one reason churches often have fights across generational lines is that we’ve artificially segregated our churches along the lines of age.

Our Sunday school classes, small groups, and many of our mission trips and other good works are developed and staffed on an age-group basis. Therefore, our older members lose touch with the younger members and vice versa. They only discuss church issues with friends — who all happen to be the same age and in the same life circumstance. Therefore, they have no idea how their actions impact the rest of the congregation.

As members do mission together, study the Bible together, and pray together, they’ll learn to more effectively love each other. And this will make sacrificing for each other easy.