One In Jesus

By now it should be obvious that my talents don’t lie in the area of shepherding (in the traditional pastoral sense). But the series really needs a post on how to shepherd — and I’m the last person you should ask.

So I’ve asked other people — people who are good at this.

Here’s what I gather —

1. I believe we’re going to be judged most especially by how we treat the “least of these.” Different places and cultures have different “leasts.” In church, there are always what some call “extra-grace Christians” — people who are just harder to deal with than most people.

I make a point to greet and speak to stutterers, the mentally ill, the disabled, the very shy, people with Asperger’s Syndrome,  and anyone else at church who is difficult to talk to. If they don’t want to talk back, I respect that. But I figure some of these folks haven’t met a friendly ear all week — and if church means anything, it’s a place where a stutterer will find the patience to be heard.

So I don’t know if that’s “shepherding,” but I think it’s important. And if someone with Asperger’s wants to talk about comic books for a few minutes at church, well, I can talk Fantastic Four or Batman however long I need to. Continue reading →

Both new and experienced elders often get in trouble when they to counsel church members. There are some real dangers here that most are not sensitive to — because we do so little elder training.

I mean, elders are under tremendous pressure to become “shepherds,” which seems to imply counseling. And when a church member approaches an elder to request counseling, the elder is quite naturally flattered — and excited that he finally gets to do what elders are supposed to do. The trouble is, no one has trained the elders on how to counsel — or more to the point, how not to counsel.

1. Here’s the first rule: Being ordained an elder doesn’t make you an expert in counseling. Don’t try to be what real counselors spend years learning to be. Most professional counselors have masters degrees in counseling. Some have doctorates. And yet even they aren’t very good at their job until they’ve had years of experience. To get experience, professional counselors intern under experienced counselors — because you can only learn so much from a book.

Therefore, you are not a professional counselor. You are not qualified to treat difficult issues. On the other hand, you are a great spouse and great parent and maybe even a great money manager. You are likely very qualified to coach husbands and fathers on parenting, marriage, and money — very desperately needed coaching, by the way. Continue reading →

I am a fan of the work of Lynn Anderson, the author of They Smell Like Sheep. And I’ve been blessed to have had a couple of phone calls and meetings with Lynn in which the elders of my church sought his advice. He was very generous with his time and wisdom.

And I’m a fan of his book They Smell Like Sheep. I just wish more people would read it rather than assuming that it says what they wish it would say. (I do disagree with his studies regarding the supposed lack of authority of elders for reasons previously stated.)

Availability, commitment, and trust

Church leaders who shepherd well will foster congregational infrastructures that leave them plenty of time and opportunity for flock-building. A good deal of their leadership will be hands-on and personal — for this is how flocks are formed. The shepherd and flock relationship eloquently implies at least three qualities of spiritual leadership: availability, commitment, and trust. This is how spiritual flocks are formed today.

Anderson, Dr. Lynn. They Smell Like Sheep (p. 23). Howard Books. Kindle Edition.

Amen. Notice that Lynn realizes the need for “congregational infrastructures” that free the elders to be more pastoral and relational. And this where we almost always fail. Rather, most elderships decide that they need to be more pastoral and so they add pastoring to their already overwhelming list of duties. Doesn’t work. Continue reading →

Now, if we ignore the context of Eze 34, it’s easy to conclude that elders ought to be shepherds (true) and that their primary job is to heal the weak and injured, that is, care for their social and emotional needs (not remotely the point of Eze 34).

I’m not saying that elders shouldn’t undertake pastoral duties. They should. I just protest our abuse of Eze 34 — which is far more about social justice and the impact of Jesus’ reign on the poor than about counseling and comforting.

Now, obviously, the weak and needy of Eze 34 are not merely the poor. It’s everyone who is being exploited and abused by those in power. And this has very little to do with visiting the sick in the hospital or comforting the mourning at the funeral home. Nor does it involve counseling our members on having stronger marriages and being better parents. Elders should do that, too — but God wasn’t angry with the king of Judah because of his poor marriage counseling skills.

And when we misapply Eze 34, we don’t see the lessons that really are there — lessons important enough that Jesus repeatedly refers to this passage in his ministry, not just in John 10. Continue reading →