On Losing 20 Pounds

I’ve decided to go public with it. I’m back on my diet. And I just passed the 20 pound weight loss point! (compared to my all time high.)

I figure if I take a public stand I’ll be more likely to stick with it. The flavored styrofoam I’m eating does get a bit old!

You’ll remember the back surgery I had back in the fall. Well, I’m very nearly fully recovered, so I can no longer feel sorry myself (it was fun while it lasted …) 🙄 But the doctor was pretty clear (as in in-my-face, downright rude about it) that I had to keep the weight off that I’d lost in preparation for the surgery. 😯 And as I remember how the back felt pre-surgery, I’ve just got to do it.

I did Atkins for a while, but it’s too inconvenient — and too easy to eat HUGE portions of meat, which result in lots of calories, which still add weight, I don’t care how few carbs you don’t ingest!

So I’m doing the bariatric diet thing, which has nothing to do with bariatric stomach surgery (I’m not in that category). Rather, you eat special fat-person fake cookies, fake muffins, fake stew, and fake spaghetti, and such — all with just barely enough protein and other nutrients to get you just barely through the day. It’s about 1,000 calories a day. Men get to eat 6 whatevers a day, which makes it hard to cheat. Which is what I need. I mean, I’m licensed to rationalize, aren’t I?

It takes me about 3 days to stop being hungry (most of the time). Sometimes I slip up and actually eat less than I’m supposed to. You’re supposed to kick caffeine, but I’ve decide that I’m no Mormon, and caffeine is my right as a New Testament Christian! (mmm … coffee.) (“It’s for freedom we’ve been freed.” I’m sure that applies to caffeine!)

My clothes fit much better now, but there are still some threads hanging in the closet that are unimaginably small. I’d love to knock off another 20 pounds. I have friends who’ve lost 70 and 80 pounds — which would be way too much for me.

At my current pace, I’ll be in negative figures by Thanksgiving! So I guess I’ll get to eat hamburgers and barbecue (mmm … Dreamland ribs …) in a few months.

So, in the meantime, keep me in your prayers. And be careful what you pray for … I think God is playing some kind of trick on me, as far too much of my weight loss is from losing my hair! 😳 So be specific!

(I had a full, luxurious head of hair when they ordained me as elder 5 long years ago. Now, well, it’s not the same.)