Real Restoration: On Brokenness, Part 2

Brokenness

(Psa 51:16-17 ESV) 16 For you will not delight in sacrifice, or I would give it;
you will not be pleased with a burnt offering.
17 The sacrifices of God are a broken spirit;
a broken and contrite heart, O God, you will not despise.

Who is broken? Do we need to be emotional wrecks to qualify? Must we “come forward” and sob before the church?

Well, let Jesus explain —

(Mat 5:20-37 ESV) 20 For I tell you, unless your righteousness exceeds that of the scribes and Pharisees, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven.

The scribes and Pharisees did not lack for Bible knowledge, and they knew they weren’t perfect and that they needed God’s grace. They just thought they were pretty good — and didn’t need much grace. You see, there’s a sense in which our righteousness depends on our humility before God. The better we understand our need for God, the more like God we can become.

21 “You have heard that it was said to those of old, ‘You shall not murder; and whoever murders will be liable to judgment.’ 22 But I say to you that everyone who is angry with his brother will be liable to judgment; whoever insults his brother will be liable to the council; and whoever says, ‘You fool!’ will be liable to the hell of fire.”

We justify ourselves: “At least I’ve never killed anyone!” “I’m not a murderer, you know!” But we kill each other when we dehumanize each other — by name calling, by condescension, by treating each other with contempt.

And who is innocent of this charge? We may not say racist words, but we think racist thoughts. We may not call a stranger “fool,” but think of him as an enemy and as worthless. We kill in our minds all the time. Indeed, if we were God and could change the world with a thought, we’d have killed entire nations.

We aren’t good.

23 “So if you are offering your gift at the altar and there remember that your brother has something against you, 24 leave your gift there before the altar and go. First be reconciled to your brother, and then come and offer your gift. 25 Come to terms quickly with your accuser while you are going with him to court, lest your accuser hand you over to the judge, and the judge to the guard, and you be put in prison. 26 Truly, I say to you, you will never get out until you have paid the last penny.

Have we made peace with all who have something against us? Do we always even care that someone has something against us?

God says it’s more urgent to be reconciled with your brother than to be reconciled to God himself! You see, you can’t truly come before God and offer sacrifice if you’re not willing to sacrifice to reconcile with a brother. If we can’t sacrifice our pride, we can’t really sacrifice anything.

And we are very proud people. We don’t want to confront our own mistakes, and we don’t want to apologize.

We aren’t good.

27 “You have heard that it was said, ‘You shall not commit adultery.’ 28 But I say to you that everyone who looks at a woman with lustful intent has already committed adultery with her in his heart. 29 If your right eye causes you to sin, tear it out and throw it away. For it is better that you lose one of your members than that your whole body be thrown into hell. 30 And if your right hand causes you to sin, cut it off and throw it away. For it is better that you lose one of your members than that your whole body go into hell.

Do we look at women (or men) with lust? Do we enjoy the sexual fantasy? Are we only chaste because the temptation hasn’t presented itself?

Do we flirt? Do we nurse the hope of a moment of illicit sexual pleasure? Do we let our eyes linger?

Would we be willing to give up an eye or both eyes to remain pure in our hearts?

We aren’t good.

Yes, we need grace. Yes, we need forgiveness. Yes, we need Jesus.

But what would be the point of God forgiving us if we remained bad?

The goal of our salvation is not forgiveness. And it’s not heaven. That may be our goal, but it’s not God’s. Yes, yes, God does those things through Jesus, but that’s not the goal. It’s just the beginning.

Healthy brokenness

The importance of brokenness is the realization that we need to change. If salvation were all about forgiveness, then change wouldn’t be important. But forgiveness is needed so we can be in relationship — and so we can be changed.

This should be obvious, really, but it’s not. It’s not — because we think of God as The Great Rulebook in the Sky, not as a person of love and compassion. So let’s try an analogy.

Can you be in right relationship with your husband or wife if you are unforgiven? Imagine that you commit a horrible sin against your wife, such as adultery. What is necessary for the relationship to be restored? Obviously: forgiveness. Forgiveness allows her to invite you back into her life and to love you as the broken, sinful person you are. Forgiveness allows you to feel welcomed and loved.

Some marriages work by denial. The wife pretends her husband is perfect even though he isn’t. She is what we call “mentally ill.”

Some marriages work by fear. The wife lives with her wicked husband because she fears for her life. That makes him evil.

Some marriages work by low self-esteem. The wife knows her husband cheats, but she figures she deserves the jerk.

None of these marriages are remotely like our relationship with God. His self-esteem is just fine. He’s not afraid. And he’s not crazy. And that means our relationship has to be built on honesty and forgiveness. God knows we sin and he forgives us — but we know that we sin, and so we work, with his help, to get better. No game playing. No denial. No intimidation. We are who we are. Everyone knows it. And because we can be honest about who we are, we can improve and do better. This is what we call a healthy relationship.

Repentance, therefore, is not so much that we stop sinning (an impossible standard) but that we turn toward God and ask him to help us do better. It’s submission to God so that we can be in right relationship. But repentance requires that we admit our sin, and the better we understand the depth of our sin, the better we can repent and the better our relationship with God will be.

Again, if I sin against my wife, our relationship will be better restored the better I realize how much I sinned against her. I can’t repent of what I don’t understand. But if I truly understand how I hurt her, and if I repent with that understanding, I’ll be a better husband and we’ll have a better relationship going forward. Therefore, repentance requires brokenness — an awareness of just how badly I’ve sinned.