I get emails —
The small congregation I attend has some copies of Brownlow’s “Why I’m a Member of the Church of Christ” sitting out and today I saw a member give a copy to a visitor. I’m wondering if there is another publication you would suggest giving folks who might be interested in joining the congregation? Is there a book which could introduce someone to the Church of Christ but doesn’t damn everyone else? I know that spending time talking with someone is the best way for them to learn about what we believe, but what book would you give someone who asked for one.
Readers?
As you surmise, the last book I’d give a visitor is Brownlow’s book. It’s inaccurate both factually and theologically.
I’m not sure I’d approach the question in terms of introducing someone to the Church of Christ at all. That’s so last century!
Anyone visiting your church is interested either in Jesus or in your congregation. No one is checking out your denomination. People haven’t thought in those terms in quite some time.
Tell them about Jesus. Tell them about your faith community. Share your vision and beliefs, but mainly who you are. Share service opportunities — where you serve the poor and elderly and orphans.
Show them God by showing them what God is doing among you. Let them see marriages strengthened, addictions cured, and wounds healed.
Share your weaknesses, struggles, and flaws. Let them see that you know you’re not perfect, that you appreciate God’s grace, and that you’re working to honor God more tomorrow than yesterday.
Be real. Be authentic. Don’t put on a show. And don’t dare give them a copy of that horrid book. Show them Jesus — in how you live, how you serve together, and the vision you attain to.
So I really don’t know of a book to share. I know churches that prepare materials that introduce the congregation to visitors. We do that. But I’d personally not want to hand a visitor a tract on “Why we don’t use instruments of music.” I’m sure visitors are curious, but they much more want to know about you as followers of Jesus.
I have known congregations of different denominations who purchased booklets of the Gospel of Luke or John. These were given out to visitors in the hope and expectaton that they would find these less frightening than being told to go home and read their Bible.
I personally believe that the Gospel of Luke works better. I realize that there are many church leaders, some I greatly respect, who prefer the Gospel of John. But I find that Luke presents Jesus actively involve in the lives of diverse human beings,whereas John uses a lot of symbolism to describe Jesus, symbols that don’t mean much to people who are not yet believers. To many of them John is just religious language, language they will apprciate more as they grow.
Giving out one of the gospels is good – especially if it is a translation in a dialect easy for people unfamiliar with the Bible to read.
I don’t know of any books, but have often used the tract by Joe Barnett, “What to Expect When You Visit a Church of Christ” (don’t know if it’s still in print, though). It answers questions about the church and explains some things without being offensive.
While I don’t necessarily believe that churches need to go out of their way seeking to prove why they are the “most scriptural”… I also don’t believe they should feel the need to apologize and/or be ashamed of whatever it is the believe and practice.
The congregation I currently am a member of (around 3 years now) used to write on the bottom of the bulletin that the reason we don’t use instruments is because there is no mention of them being used in the churches of the Bible
But now, in an effort to not seem “more scriptural” we have stopped writing that. To me, it seems we are so afraid of rubbing the wrong way and/or coming off as “judgmental” that we are actually ashamed of what we believe to be true. Its as if we don’t have women elders and preachers just because we don’t. And we don’t really know why…its just a tradition we have kinda always had.
But lets face it brethren, the reason we do and or not do certain thingas is because that’s what we believe the Bible teaches. Its what we believe is God’s will. And we shouldn’t be so afraid to say as much.
We are somewhat unique, and we shouldn’t be so ashamed of that. Or, we should just throw in the towel like a Max Lacodo or something. IMO
“what book would you give someone who asked for one?”
As several have already stated – The Bible.
I too recommend something other than the entire Bible. The way the Bible is printed and bound is intimidating. How many of you usually pick up a thousand-page book at the store to read?
Another thing to do is smile, shake hands, (hug if appropriate), and say, “My name is Dwayne. I am glad to see you.”
Seems like it would be good for churches to have some sort of “What to Expect” publication to give people who come for the first time. There are times in our worship that are very stressful for visitors. The Lord’s Supper is probably at the top of that list!
From there, I agree with Jay: people want to know about your congregation and they want to know about Jesus.
a “menu” for where you are taking them to lunch afterwards so they can comfortably ask questions and get answers they can understand.
Please, in the name of all that’s holy, don’t hand a visitor a book or a tract. Please! Introduce yourself. Smile! Introduce the visitor to a couple of your friends. Take him with you for lunch. Think of him not as a church visitor, but as a potential lifelong friend. That will make all the difference in the world.
Golden Rule Time: Would YOU rather be treated as a potential congregational member or as a friend? Take your time… 😉
Jay hits it on the head with the statement that this visitor is interested in either you or your congregation, not your denomination. Tell ’em about yourself and Jesus.
We KNOW how to do this with the new guy at work, or with the new neighbor. I think we don’t start making things difficult and awkward until we get to church. 8/
Tim is correct in observing that the Lord’s Supper can be very stressful for a visitor. What to do, what to do? If we are to have a short “What To Expect” pew brochure of some kind, it needs to be completely NON-doctrinal, omitting the usual proof-texts (gasp!) and just say something gentle, like “This memorial reminds us of what Jesus has done for us; believers in Jesus are welcome to share in this remembrance with us”.
Oh… I have a revolutionary idea for “greeters”. Instead of leaving them in the lobby, the best thing we could do would be for a greeter to introduce himself to a new face and say, “Would you like to come in and sit with us?” That greeter will do ten times more good chatting in the pew with the new guy and making introductions than he ever will handing out more church bulletins.
More important than what tract to give a visitor is what the preacher should not preach if a visitor is present. Some take that opportunity to preach against whatever that visitor is for. “Take the opportunity to let them hear the truth at least once”
To adjust the sermon to be more friendly and less damning until they get to know us better would be appropriate and not slacking away from the scripture and we wouldn’t be guilty of not boldly standing for the faith.
This error in judgment is why so very few invite their friends to our services.
The Baptists have done a study dealing with the fact that only about 18% of the people who visit a church still are going there 3 months later. They found the following
Churches who do better than that, do the following
1. they get the visitor’s information and they are followed up with within 48 hours, preferably by someone in leadership. “we are glad you came, did you have any questions we would love to have you back” etc
2. Those who are involved into small groups keep coming more often, so it is important to invite them to a bible study ” We have a bible study that has some people about your age in it that you might enjoy” Then walk them to it and hand them over to someone in the class
3. NAME TAGS were found to be important. No matter how many times you introduce yourself to someone, chances are that by the next week they have forgotten. And they are likely not to ask you who you are, and after a few weeks, if they don’t know anyone’s name they quit coming.
“Anyone visiting your church is interested either in Jesus or in your congregation. No one is checking out your denomination. People haven’t thought in those terms in quite some time.”
Thank you for recognizing this simple truth.
Hank –
I completely agree with your post (with the exception of the concluding mongolian chop you dealt to Lucado), even though I disagree with your conclusions. I think treating people with kid gloves comes through quickly. I’m with Hank — I’d rather you just be yourself. Perhaps your church has a “we’re right; you’re wrong” attitude. Fine. But BE that, and don’t be subversive about it.
A few thoughts about some other responses:
1) The venerable Charles McLean suggested asking guests to “…come in and sit with us.” As an introvert, I’d cringe at this offering. There’d come a time where I’d appreciate it, but on my first visit I am wanting to observe without you explaining everything to me.
Now, this is a tough call because I realize not all would share my view on this. What to do? I don’t know…but one size definitely doesn’t fit all. Perhaps it comes down to giftedness — I am highly intuitive (INTJ) and could probably guess with 90% accuracy within ten seconds what the appropriate level of attention for each visitor would be. But that is rare…and I’d still be wrong 10-20% of the time. Again, no solutions. Only pointing out challenges. 🙂
2) I went to Ash Wednesday Mass with a friend last week. It was the first time I’d been to a Catholic service in several years, and I’d forgotten what to expect. She wasn’t a terribly devout Catholic, and she wasn’t able to answer all of the questions I had. I would have LOVED to seen an informative bulletin stating what to expect. Of course, Catholic services are highly interactive so I was left wondering what/why everyone was saying.
As the questioner – thanks for the responses.
Jay wrote:
I’m not sure I’d approach the question in terms of introducing someone to the Church of Christ at all. That’s so last century!
Anyone visiting your church is interested either in Jesus or in your congregation. No one is checking out your denomination. People haven’t thought in those terms in quite some time.
There’s a lot of last century thought around here. Like I stated, I don’t think a book is the way to go, but when someone asks for one I’d like them to leave with something other than Brownlow’s book. We have some folks who have been confused as Mennonites and there’s a horse & buggy routinely tied up in our parking lot so that might cause some people to wonder about our beliefs. I’ll see if I can find Barnett’s tract.
The Church I am attending right now has a fairly large Connecting Point” room on the concourse out of the building and visitors are invited to stop by and talk, if they wish. They also have people at the front of the Auditorium at the conclusion of services that will pray with people, if they wish. Now, this might be a bit people-ly for some folk but this church was averaging about 650 in attendance this time last year and that number is up to over 800 this year. And, there have been baptisms in over 50% of the services that I have attended in 2012 so they are definitely doing something right.
Amen Doug
Where is this?
“The congregation I currently am a member of (around 3 years now) used to write on the bottom of the bulletin that the reason we don’t use instruments is because there is no mention of them being used in the churches of the Bible” (Hank)
No mention (in the New Testament) with regard to churches perhaps, but God was worshiped with a prodigious variety of instruments all used to praise and glorify the Lord. Just think of it, gorgeous tapestries, gold furnishings, aromas of incense, sacrifices being roasted, psalms of joy accompanied by trumpets, cymbals, harp, lyre, etc. Our God enjoys celebration! Since “there is no variation or shadow due to change” with God, it would seem true that He still does – even on “this side of the cross”.
I’ve long wished that Churches of Christ would come to a point of saying that the members have a preference for a capella music and cease using the “speak where/be silent where” as an explanation for the practice. It’s wonderful to sing in congregations that are practiced in singing parts and aren’t overpowered by instrumentation. It’s also wonderful to worship the Lord with well-played instruments that add beauty to the collective praise. The point is that God is blessed, adored and honored. A congregation that insists on explaining that “their practice is best” seems instead to be pointing the a bit of the spotlight at themselves or an accusatory finger at others.
AJ, it’s in Florida and it’s an Independent Christian Church not a CofC. I’m on winter sabbatical. Ha!
KSRN – there are hundreds of thousands of Christians who are convinced that worshipping God with instruments is just as pleasing to God today as the “aroma of incense” and/or the “roasting of animals” that you mention above. And since so many visitors wonder why “we” don’t use them… I just believe we should be able to tell them the actual truth without being ashamed and/or worried about seeming judgmental. And the same goes for e erything else we honestly believe to be God’s will. Most church seeking visitors want churches to be honest about whatever it is they believe and practice (or don’t practice) .
JMF probably has a point about scaring the pants off an introvert who would prefer to first observe our rituals at a bit of a distance. (As an ENTP, I think of “new and strange” as good things, so I’m an insensitive lout, at times.) But surely we can finesse this. Perhaps we could place some real importance on those greeters, using somewhat sensitive people instead of just human bulletin dispensers. I visualize that first contact as being something like encountering a kindly maitre d’. Or the grandma at your girlfriend’s family reunion– the one who makes you feel welcome by sweeping you in and acting like you belong there.
Surely there is a way to create a non-threatening welcome which makes it safe for a visitor to do more than simply observe the animals from behind the glass. IMO, it is the presence of kind human beings who make the strange goings-on of an unfamiliar ritual less unsettling.
AJ, I think you just proposed a great solution to a real problem. Strike a deal with the preacher: “When I bring a visitor, you drop the planned sermon sending everybody but our tribe to hell on a shutter.” Shucks, I’d PAY somebody to come with me every Sunday!
Hank,
I don’t want to get started with you on this but when you say you want to tell the “actual truth”, I know that you mean “actual truth” in a scriptural manner but the “actual truth” about what the CofC members believe concerning IM is a different thing althogether. My congregation is pretty much split between those who believe as you do that the scriptures should be read to prohibit IM in the Church and those who believe that accapella music is simply their Church tradition. It is a somewhat age dependent split with the older members being the first group and the younger members being the second group. Many in the second group say that while they believe that accapella music is just their tradition, they would never feel comfortable worshipping with IM because of family ties and assorted other rationale. So, there’s the “actual truth” and then there’s the “Actual Truth”… Do you tell visitors both “actual truths”? They deserve to know both before they make a decision about placing membership. There are many other “actual truths” about the CofC which I have been stumbling across during the years since I placed membership in the CofC. You see, I thought the CofC was just like the Independent Christian Church except for the music. I realize now that conclusion is absolutely wrong. All of these truths have caused me and others some consternation as they have popped up from time to time. Quite frankly, I don’t think a tract that exposes all of these “truths” would be beneficial for the CofC.
Sorry, Hank, but your position appears to be simply a passive way of saying, “We’re right, they’re wrong, here’s why, so there!” It’s not about Jesus at all, and not even very much about scripture. It is, as you suggest, about trying to prove that what we think is in fact what God thinks. Before anyone even asks.
The worst offender I can imagine is presenting that anti-instrumental argument in what you hand a visitor. It instantly –and intentionally– tries to “straighten out” any visitor who has any positive experience with the vast majority of Christian assemblies who DO use instruments. Why would anyone DO that? I suppose if one feels obligated to “stand up” for something as a matter of first impressions, he might write something clearly stating who we believe Jesus to be, but to start off our connection with someone by stating our position on pianos? Yike. Might as well supply every visitor with his own complementary gnat-strainer and start him off right.
Good grief. Sometimes I think we are TRYING to make it hard for people to come in with us.
Doug,
I meant “actual truth” regarding the reason(s) as to WHY we believe and or practice certain things that may or may not br unique with our churches.
Suppose a visitor wants to know why we don’t have any female preachers or elders. And suppose a particular church honesltly believes that such are against the will of God and therefore a sinful situation. I just believe that they should be upfront and honest about the “actual truth” of why they refuse to allow women to preach to and/or pastor the church. I believe they should tell the “actual truth” about that rather than apologize for and/or pretend that such is just their preference or tradition when the “actual truth” is that there are convinced that female church leaders as against the will of God. People visiting will respect that much more than they would someone beating around the bush. IMO
Try building a relationship with the visitor. Not just one member but many, especially the Elders and Minister. Most visitors see through a shallow program very quickly, especially when they see small groups clustered around trying to figure out where they are going to lunch after church.
We have posted on our Webb page “who are the churches of
Christ”. The summary is so far out of date and blatantly unscriptural that any browser of the web would see through it.
For the most part we don’t want new people with new ideas. We are completely satisfied with being small and secular.
Hank
You wouldn’t know the truth about women ministers if the truth fell on you.
You are now and always will be locked in the 50’s in your thinking/ If toy are an Elder tell me wher you attend. I would not want to listen to you.
Robert,
I said not a word about “women ministers”. What I actually mentioned was female preachers and/or elders.
And I know a lot about female ministers… my wife is in fact one herself.
You wouldn’t know the truth about women ministers if the truth fell on you.
You are now and always will be locked in the 50′s in your thinking/ If toy are an Elder tell me wher you attend. I would not want to listen to you.
Wow. Leave it to Church of Christ folks (conservative AND progressive) to turn a thread about welcoming visitors into something rude and divisive.
Visitors don’t want to listen to our peripheral list of doctrine. We should tell them about the Gospel and the salvation offered by Jesus death on the Cross. If you want to turn the visitor off start with the negative.
I think that most visitors do want to know what the church they’re visiting believes and teaches. And when a church says “we believe THIS is the truth and will of God about that.” People respect that. If believing one thing is right means that you believe everything else is wrong…so be it. Its what you believe.
People get so afraid of seeming judgmental or unaccepting that they are afraid to actually admit whatever it is they actually believe. Its like they end up not really believing anything at all.
My father in law goes to a church in Mexico that is like that. He said its great and everyone gets along just fine whatever they believe and regardless of their theological backgrounds. He said its great because as he put it “we don’t teach ANY doctrine at all”.
He doesn’t realize that the word doctrine simply means “teaching”. Basically, to make everybody feel welcome and accepted – they don’t teach anything at all. But its cool, he likes it that way.
To each his own…
The visitor wants to know what is our core beliefs which I hope is the Gospel and the redemption of our souls by the blood of Jesus. All other stuff is peripheral and sometimes several times removed from the core.
My wife of 55 years is a minister and has taken in and taught the gospel to me and God only knows how many strays, the latest a young women from Kenya we picked up at the nursing home. She is one of the best greeters we have in church and has fostered many, many relationships. From what I have seen latley she would do much better than most men at teaching or preaching, bur we don’t allow that. We do listen to Joyce Meyer and Melisa Scott who most in the Church of Christ do not know nor ever heard of.
The visitor wants to be a part of you relationaly. There are many other Christians in other churches.
Jay
Sorry for the outburst. I get cranky in my old age especially when it comes to fostering a relationship with the visitor. What Donna and I do is often undone by lousy preaching and a cliquey environment. we try and teach what Bill Hybels teaches in his books “The Contagious Christian” and “Just walk across the room”.
Cheers
Robert,
Joyce Meyer is trippin.
“I think that most visitors do want to know what the church they’re visiting believes and teaches.”
>>>
I think that this may be true in a limited, generic, do-you-do-anything-weird-like-handling-snakes sort of way, but beyond that I don’t think specific doctrine is atop of the average visitor’s list of questions. I will confess that there are a few very religious folks out there who come in the church door with a doctrinal checklist in their hand. Most of the folks like this that I know are either CoC or charismatic, but I’m sure there are others. But in the main, I think it is inaccurate to assume that the average visitor is visiting your church in search of a particular doctrine, or looking to avoid one. Most believers do not identify themselves by doctrines in the first place. Ask a stranger on the street how he identifies himself in terms of religion and he might say, “I’m a Christian,” or “I’m Jewish,” or even “I’m Baptist”. But don’t expect him to say, “I’m a sola fide pre-millenial plenary inspiration Calvinist with charismatic leanings.” Folks in the church of Christ identify other believers this way, but most of the rest of us don’t.
Most visitors want to know (1) what are you like and (2) what is your group like? Only then do they want to know (3) why you are the way you are. Until #1 and #2 are addressed, they could care less about #3. Hank’s question is #4 (“What is the basis for why you are the way you are?”) is not even on the radar.
“Where does your church stand on plenary inspiration?” does not make their top ten. “What is your position on the specific limitations biblically imposed on behavior in the Sunday assembly vis a vis limitations imposed on Christian life in general?” won’t hit their top one hundred.
Unless they are CoC. In which case, they might walk in on you raising the dead and ask, “But do you immerse for the remission of sins?”
I sometimes think we want to know what people believe ABOUT Jesus more than we want to know if they believe IN Jesus.
We have a growing church that brings in 5-10 new guests every week. We give them a package containing information about what we are doing in the community, our vision and goals, etc. We also offer them an order of our worship, so they know what to expect. We do not do announcements, because we found they add nothing to our assembly, but only confuse our guests and returning guests. Our announcements are posted in our weekly “bulletin,” and we also use CCB for our members to stay connected and informed. Anyway, guests want to know what you’re doing and why, they want to know Jesus is alive in your church, and they want to be made to feel comfortable while there.
Roger and Charles
You both have good points. Most of our visitors want to be in a Christ like setting and have a need to belong. What is sad is that our leaders have a very spotty attendance record Sunday night and Wednesday night. They do not visit or even talk to visitors, but are faithful to the COC doctrine. The same is true to all churches in our community.
We need a revival everywhere.
I once read an idea about church visitors which said you should not allow them. Really. This only partly tongue-in-cheek idea considers the fact that a church service is a carefully-coded ritual entirely created for the believer and fully intelligible only to them. It presents the edge of Christianity without providing much of any handhold for the unenlightened. It may actually do more harm than good in actually introducing a person to Jesus, by making our faith foreign and intimidating. The average church service is certainly not designed to make it easy for the unbeliever to connect. Nor is that necessarily desirable.
In this scenario, the church would refer an inquiring person to a family or two in his neighborhood and help encourage that interpersonal contact. “Meet Judy and Tim. They are really nice people who would love to meet you for coffee! Get to know them and what they are all about. If you like what you see in them, a church service later might help explain a little about what Judy and Tim are all about. But it’s best if you begin by talking to them.”
A visitor is looked at like here comes trouble too many times. I say too many almost in jest as a visitor other than another COC of the same thinking as your church is pretty scarce in these parts.
As quickly as possible get them to agree to a study class at their home where they are most comfortable. This is good and also prevents them bringing up who knows what in the regular church study class.
The best recruiting is away from the church building anyway. I don’t believe many just walk in off the street, I don’t remember that ever happening and they must of had some personal instruction beforehand and come if for nothing else but curiosity.
The positive thing is things are changing, but so slowly. So many around us have a bad impression of us from past experiences and we must overcome that.
Regarding the point made earlier about helping visitors with understanding what to do during the Lord’s Supper, my congregation places an explanation of the Lord’s Supper and instructions about what to do on the screen while the congregation observes communion. It also includes instructions about how to find the tray with the gluten-free wafers on the east side of the auditorium.
Charles,
YOU had the great idea.
You can be my visitor and I’ll be yours. Preaching at both Churches would sure improve.
Visitors that are not members are not to take the Lords Supper, neither are children. It is for members of the Church only and gives the visitor something else to look forward to.
The “When they ALL came together” caused confusion for many years and is why so many only offered the Lords Supper at the midday service. This part of the verse still does with those that offer the Lords Supper more than once on Sunday.
Terry,
Gluten free wafers available from the Church !
How thoughtful.
My bride is a Celiac and just pinches off a small portion in order to partake from the same loaf (wafer) as we all.
Thanks, John. I thought it was thoughtful, too. It had never occured to me that it could be a problem for some people.
When I talk to visitors before our meeting I usually ask them whether they’d like to know what to expect during the next hour or so. The normal (polite) answer to this is a Yes. So I just tell them how the meeting will proceed, about singing, announcements, a sermon, the Lord’s Supper (in this I always say: It’s for those who’ve been baptized), andt he like. This relaxes them, makes them sit down knowing what to expect. And afterwards they are usually engaged in a conversation anway … maybe it’s me again, asking whether it made sense to them. And then i recommend them to a hose church meeting the following sunday, the one closest to where they live, and introduce them to a presiding brother. (We have a “different” system: A “traditional sunday” where we all meet together, and a “house-church-sunday” where we meet in various living rooms throughout Vienna).
We translated a booklet by Michael C. Armour into Geman (printed by EEM) that is a nice introduction to the churches of Christ we sometimes hand to visitors as well.
Alexander