Every Major’s Terrible

In honor of high school graduation, a simple, desultory phillipic.

By way of background —

YouTube Preview Image

Which allows you to sing along with (all together now) —

Someday I'll be the first to get a Ph. D in 'Undeclared'.

Thanks to XKCD.

Profile photo of Jay Guin

About Jay F Guin

My name is Jay Guin, and I’m a retired elder. I wrote The Holy Spirit and Revolutionary Grace about 18 years ago. I’ve spoken at the Pepperdine, Lipscomb, ACU, Harding, and Tulsa lectureships and at ElderLink. My wife’s name is Denise, and I have four sons, Chris, Jonathan, Tyler, and Philip. I have two grandchildren. And I practice law.
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4 Responses to Every Major’s Terrible

  1. Matt Lee says:

    Loved it when I saw it this morning. Soon after it was posted someone already had a performance of it up on youtube http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Gu1VhsNOwPU

  2. Jerry says:

    This reminds me of the high school entertainers at a church banquet for juniors & seniors (in lieu of a prom) where the after-dinner speaker was the president of Ohio Valley College. They sang (very enthusiastically) “I don’t need no education.”

  3. Pink Floyd and the Prez of OVC? There’s an unexpected combination.

    For our kids on other end of University Drive, graduation approaches, and it’s hard to remember everything for this event. As in–

    A. Don’t forget to select your individualized “cap accessories”, to be attached to the top of your mortarboard. Suggestions include
    1. Portrait of George Washington (history)
    2. Portrait of Shakespeare (English)
    3. Radiation placard (physics),
    4. Biohazard symbol (pre-med),
    5. Smiley face (elementary education),
    6. Dead frog (biology)
    7. Beaker (chemistry),
    8. Working miniature catalytic cracker (chemical engineering),
    9. Pile of dirt (civil engineering),
    10. Food stamp application (humanities)

    B. If you must wear sneakers to the ceremony, the dean asks that you refrain from wearing the Skechers that light up.

    C. Please advise your proud family members that anyone using an air horn to celebrate your accomplishment as you walk across the stage will be tasered by campus security.

    D. Remember, your graduation snapshot will be a treasure for years to come. Your chance to make a goofy face in your school picture passed in the third grade.

    E. Yes, commencement can be lengthy, but do NOT order pizza from Domino’s to be sent to your seat. This is disruptive and will likely result in your wiping marinara sauce on the dean as he hands you your diploma.

  4. Profile photo of Jay Guin Jay Guin says:


    I particularly enjoyed this video version: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LdyoGruec88

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