Boston, Part 1: So I Was Trapped in this Elevator …

So I was trapped in this elevator in Boston. Denise and I were visiting my two sons and daughter-in-law who all live there, planning on doing a little site seeing — that is, planning on eating our way across Bean Town. And so we were staying in the apartment of my son and his wife, who live on the sixth floor of a 12-story building.

We’d noticed odd sounding noises coming from the elevator the first few times we rode it, but we were assured that the thing always sounds that way. Which I’m sure is true. And I’m really too old to lug suitcases up six flights of stairs, and so we rode the elevator.

And the first few times, it was no big deal. Just some strange noises, an uneven ride, and we arrived in one piece each time.

But Sunday evening, after some site seeing, we boarded the elevator with a young Asian girl. We pushed the buttons, the elevator shook, stopped, and the door wouldn’t open.

Well, what do you do? We pushed all kinds of buttons, rang the bell incessantly, yelled for help, and no luck.

Now, to get the picture, you have to understand that I’m claustrophobic. I can’t abide MRI machines. I got stuck in the elevator at my church one time and still get shivers at the memory. So I figured I’d panic.

But the lights stayed on, there were only 5 us in there, the air conditioner kept blowing, and I was fine. So I sat on the floor, opened the little door to the telephone that calls the elevator repair people — and saw no phone.

But there was an unlabeled button, which I pushed. This was Sunday evening, and so I figured we had little hope of getting help, but to my surprise, a lady answered. She told us to “reset” the elevator — as though everyone knows how to reset an elevator! I ever-so-calmly explained to her that there are no professional elevator repair people present, and she told us to push and hold the “door open” button for 5 seconds. Which we did. (This is an important life lesson for readers. When you’re stuck in an elevator, hold the “door open” button for 5 seconds and it just might reset! Or not …)

We did — and the elevator flew up to the 12th floor — reminding me of my many rides on Disney’s Tower of Terror — a ride where the elevator yanks you to the top of the building — and then drops you. I was not happy.

And I started to recall the Mythbusters episode where they proved that you can’t save your life in a falling elevator by jumping up at the last moment before impact. Not a happy memory at all!

Now, it’s times such as these that show a person’s true character. My son pointed out that the average response time in Boston to an elevator emergency is 3 hours. My daughter-in-law was posting her experience on Facebook using her iPhone — and delighted for us to be on the 12th floor where the 3G service is so much better! The Asian girl said nothing. Someone pointed out that there are no bathrooms on an elevator. I kept pushing buttons, and finally we descended back to the first floor.

At this point, the security guards had realized our distress and yelled that they’d called the fire department. Then someone on the 7th floor pushed the button for the elevator and so up we flew to their floor! We managed to go down again, once again via the 12th floor — Tower of Terror style — and by the time we got back down, the firemen had arrived.

They told us us to reset the elevator, which we did, and we again flew up to the 12th floor.

Again we pushed enough random buttons to take us to the bottom, and the firemen ask us to force the door open. Well, the door had nothing to grab on to, and neither my son nor I could open it. Finally, my petite wife managed to open the door — and gloat about it!

I think we men in the car managed to loosen it for her, you know, like a jar lid. Or more precisely, she opened it right after I pushed the “door open” button, so the hardware wasn’t in a locked position. But she is buying none of those scientific explanations.

So we walked out, alive — and very grateful to the fire department, whose response time was much less than 3 hours!

Are there valuable life lessons in this? Of course —

* Just because the guys don’t get it done, don’t imagine it can’t be done. (But then again, if the girls are so smart, why didn’t they hit “door open” while the guys were trying to open the door?)

* Elevators don’t actually fall like the ones in Tower of Terror. Even the Mythbusters had to break several safety systems before they could get an elevator to crash land. You might be trapped for hours, but you won’t crash.

* Go to the bathroom before getting on the elevator. You never know how long you’ll be in there.

* Use the stairs.