Paula is a gifted writer, who needs help in personalizing her blog. You see, there’s no bio and no picture and nothing at all — other than the URL — identifying “thinking Jesus” as belonging to Paula Harrington.
So I went looking for a picture in Google images, and it turns out that “Paula Harrington” is a fairly common name. And so I went looking in Facebook, where I found the intriguingly named “John-Paula Harrington.”
In searching for an appropriate photo, I learned that the photos tagged with the page owner’s name are invariably tagged “John-Paula Harrington.” And so I picked the picture that best demonstrated the ambiguity in that. (The person on the right is tagged “John-Paula Harrington,” and you may draw your own conclusions from there.)
This is from her recent post “Open Letter to Blended Families” —
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I’ll never forget the day my fiancé and I sat in the preacher’s office. The minister’s exact words to me were, “You’re never going to love his kids the way he does,” and then he looked at my soon to be husband and said, “You’re never going to love her kids the way she does.” I thought he was being a bit direct but I loved this man and greatly respected him. He had to know what he was talking about. Right? And then he said the words that have stuck with me for all these years and still make me a little teary every time I think about them,
“God has brought two kids out of your lives. Now He is bringing two kids into your lives. They are God’s kids, first and foremost. Never forget that and always raise them like that.”
Still gets me every time I read it. They were and are God’s kids and so are yours. They aren’t excessive baggage from a failed marriage. They aren’t mistakes. They aren’t brats you have to tolerate. They aren’t just like their mother or father. They aren’t out to get you (…well they may be at first 
). They are God’s kids and He loves them as much as He loves you. And you will answer to Him for how you treat them and how you love them.
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In our house, there were no steps. They were mine. All of them. When my husband and I married, we had a 4, 5, 6, and 7 year old. I remember being at the church building one evening after services and saw a sweet lady I hadn’t seen in many years. She asked about the kids and as they ran up to me, I introduced them to her. She spoke to each of them for a minute and then asked me, “Now, which ones are yours?” I knew exactly what she meant but smiled and answered, “They’re all mine.” And they were. Nuff said. I refused to single out which ones I had given birth to because God gave them to me in different ways. Who was I to call them out?
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Now, how many Christian bloggers talk about the struggles of parenting a blended family? And the post is filled with practical and spiritual wisdom, humor, and the stuff of family reality.
Highly recommended.
Pauia is indeed a very gifted writer. My favorite article of hers is probably, “Why I Hope My Kids Don’t ‘Get Baptized'”
http://archives.wineskins.org/article/why-i-hope-my-kids-dont-get-baptized-june-2012/
I love Paula. Her gifted writing is only surpassed by her heart for God and love of truth where ever she finds it. She is always encouraging and uplifting.
I get what Paula was saying, but as I read I kept wondering if she ever had a baby shower for one of her babies. Yes, the arrival of the baby is only the beginning, but when do we celebrate it if not in anticipation of the birth (the baby shower), or at the time of the birth (the birth announcements), or on the anniversary of that birth (all the subsequent birthday anniversaries and parties)??? And which one of those celebrations goes into a celebration of all the moments that are crucibles in the formation of that life? Is it just me, or do most folks only take notice of the crucible moments at the end of their life, when they put up the montage of pictures that shows the life they lived, or during the video when family and friends are sharing memories of moments in their lives? Maybe I am just not around enough sentimental people, but it seems to me that the only time we get past talking about their birth or the anniversary thereof is when we review their life after they have passed on.
Recalling the moment and circumstances of a birth is one of the ways we memorialize people BEFORE they die, so why not speak of their baptism into Christ and new birth into the family of God? Is there something so spiritual that we must not mention it out loud? I ask because it seems to me to be just the opposite – so spiritual and wonderful that we cannot help but proclaim it to nearly anyone we meet. It is a gift fully appreciated only when shared and multiplied.
I am not opposed to the sentiments Paula expressed, just the way she expressed it – which I think misses her point, actually. She wants her kids to talk about the time they gave their lives to Jesus, surrendering to the only hope anyone of us can have for salvation. There IS more to following Jesus than just the birth process. I get that. Still, it seems weird not to celebrate a new birth or to think that is all there is to it.
G
This one brought tears to my eyes………but not for the reasons that most of you would suppose. My daughter was in the same position as the mother in this message. She also wanted to make the children her own and tried her very best. She rebuked me and many others as we settled into this new blended family thinking. Unfortunately the birth mother and the other grandparents involved and the Family Services called in by those people trashed the only person who wanted to love them all the same. They didn’t care that the children were abused, neglected, starving, had head lice, missed school. They just wanted some pound of personal flesh that let them look better that the birth father – although he never missed a support payment and provided a safe and healthy environment. These kinds of tragedies happen more often than one would think. And the step parents generally are labeled the fault of the tragedy. I just want to speak up for one maligned stepmother.