Matt Moore: “Discovering True Masculinity: How The Church Helped Me Rest In My Identity As A Man”

gay christianRecommended by a reader: A powerful testimony by a Christian gay man who is not, as he says, a man’s man but has found his place in a B-side (abstinence and gay Christian affirming) church.

Here’s the money quote, but you should read the whole thing:

And by “make me feel like I belonged,” I don’t mean that they tried to shape me into their image. They didn’t give me a guy-makeover, forcing me to go to football games or to participate in other culturally masculine activities I didn’t enjoy.

They actually did (and still do) something utterly foreign to many men today: they sat down and talked to me. They invited me over for dinner or out for coffee and initiated conversations about things in which they knew I had interest. They asked about my life. They asked about my family. They told me about their life. They told me about their family. They shared their struggles with me in a way that showed me they didn’t view my same-sex attraction as worse or weirder than their own brokenness.

These guys embraced the patient work it was to push through my walls and get to know me. They gently, but stubbornly, pursued friendship with me . . . even when I didn’t want them to. If, for no good reason, I declined an invitation to hang out, my phone would start ringing almost immediately. They wouldn’t allow me to retreat from fellowship without a fight.

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About Jay F Guin

My name is Jay Guin, and I’m a retired elder. I wrote The Holy Spirit and Revolutionary Grace about 18 years ago. I’ve spoken at the Pepperdine, Lipscomb, ACU, Harding, and Tulsa lectureships and at ElderLink. My wife’s name is Denise, and I have four sons, Chris, Jonathan, Tyler, and Philip. I have two grandchildren. And I practice law.
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4 Responses to Matt Moore: “Discovering True Masculinity: How The Church Helped Me Rest In My Identity As A Man”

  1. Some people are just hard to get to know…you know? Like that Ethiopian (dare we say eunuch) Treasurer and that nut who was so wired he could break loose of chains and that fellow named Nick who would only come by late after dark and that woman (who did you know what for a living that we won’t say out loud) who spilled her perfume all over…

    Sometimes this love-your-neighbor stuff gets messy.

  2. Mark says:

    It gets even messier when they want to join your church.

  3. I’d love to see more of this.

  4. Ray Downen says:

    It seems to me that the happiest (most gay) people I’ve known were married couples. So it seems odd to me to speak of ones unable to mate being called “gay.” How blessed are those who are attracted to people of the opposite sex and who find a person to complete their joy. God intends us all to be happy while living for Jesus. And he has arranged that sexual attraction is normal. How wise were those who arranged for church leaders to be married people with children who believe and also love God.

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